Thank you for this submission FACTZ Telegram Chat Group. I need to hold myself accountable and lose weight … I look like a Victoria’s Secret model and will never find love with these Happy Dad camp counselor socks. Tao Wickrath, I apologize.

Yes, this is me at my son’s Flag Football game in San Juan Cap.

Ok, no more pizza and Netflix– my therapist said that the key to my next wife is joining a high-end Pilates class. Maybe I should join the one Hailey Bieber goes to in Los Angeles. The weekdays look strong there, and my best friends could be Addison Rae and Maddie Ziegler.

Life is not easy. Oh, Kim Kardashian, happy birthday. I forgot to mention it yesterday. My bad.