Florida Man Tries to ‘Purchase’ Young Girl from Parents for $100K

Before you read this, you could already have guessed where a story like this would take place – of fucking course it’s Florida.

Police say a man allegedly tried to “purchase” a young girl from her parents at a grocery store, offering $100K.

Fox News writes, “The original incident happened on Aug. 16 at the Port Orange Winn Dixie grocery store when Hellmuth Kolb allegedly attempted to purchase the child away from her parents, according to the Port Orange Police Department.” An investigation was opened into the incident. Kolb was arrested August 25 and taken to the Volusia County Branch Jail.

But wait, there’s more.

Hellmuth (of course his name is Hellmuth, wtf) has tried to do this before which of course begs the question, “why wasn’t this motherfucker in or under a jail?”

But I digress. In 2018, Hellmuth allegedly approached a woman at a Walmart “and offered $200K to buy her eight-year-old daughter” according to Fox35.

Police in a Facebook post wrote, “Mr. Kolb should have simply stuck to just grocery shopping. Thanks to our SIU, Mr.Kolb did receive a complimentary ride in one of our air-conditioned Police cars, and a free stay at Hotel 92 [Volusia County Branch Jail].”

Human trafficking is particularly vicious in Florida, where ample coasts for a quick escape and the I-10 and I-75 corridors make it a hub of fast travel. Just like drugs are moved easily up and down the coasts and offshore, children and women can be trafficked fairly easily from the Sunshine State. It’s a little less common for a resident to so brazenly attempt to purchase a whole ass human, even in Florida. But if it’s going to happen anywhere, it’s probably Volusia County.

Joe Exotic, I miss you dearly.

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