Influencer and in the 95th percentile of attractive females, Alexa Collins, spills the FACTZ on the rough age of 27. She tells the world about the following high-class problems:

• If Collins is day drinking as a 27-year-old, there is no shot for her to night drink. It’s a complete shutdown.
• Day drinking causes a same-day 6 pm hangover.
• Any dinner invites past 8 pm will be rejected.
• If you do not have a reservation, it’s a hard pass by Collins. She doesn’t do delays; sit now, or Collins will immediately block your number.
• A spontaneous life is for poor people.
• All plans must be made with Collins at least two days in advance to ensure no calendar conflicts.

Yes, 27 is the new 47, thanks to advancements in technology.