Ok, it’s time to focus on love. Now that Lisa and Lenny Hochstein are extremely famous again for leaving each other, I think it’s time for me to try the goods (not Larsa or Lisa, relax … I mean the party), considering I have guest quarters in the Hochstein Mansion that I’ve never occupied because I didn’t want to mess up the sheets. This is the event of the year, and I need to show strength for my heart.

I must go to the HHB in Miami to find true love. The best way to know if you love someone is to see them half naked upon handshake and a slight kiss on the cheek. I decided.

Let’s catch up on me; I’ve dated three women since my divorce. Fell in love with one, but she made me feel like my ex-wife was sane. Needless to say, all three were crazy-town and have ruined my affinity for blondes.

The good news is I’m currently single, talking to a hot young brunette who is perfect for me, but I don’t think I can afford her. I still have to pay my ex-wife for LIFE. So I am stuck in that weird place where I pay for everyone to be retired except myself.

The good news is that I care about being a good dad, and every other week gives me more time for my company Richie Media Corp. We now have five strong brands (@celeb, @monza, @cate, @yachtzebra), with FACTZ blowing the fuck up. Anyway, I am happy to be back in your life- we need each other to keep the world honest.

If you are thinking of crashing the Hochstein Halloween Ball with me … it’s not going to happen. FACTZ spoke with Dr. Lenny Hochstien, who said, “I don’t think my annual Halloween party needs any more publicity. That being said, the guest list is strict. If you have not been confirmed as a guest, please do not try to come, but if you are personally invited, don’t stress.”

And to answer Nik’s question, “Kanye [West] is NOT on the guest list.”

Maybe the 14th Annual Hochstein Halloween Ball is my destiny? Wish me luck.